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Grown Man Savagely Attacks Two Pieces of Sweetcorn

January 17, 2011

A late post tonight, but I think you’ll understand my very legitimate reason – I was re-wiring the cable to my TV. The TV had to take priority as it is essential to keeping this blog topical.

The late sweetcorn was very popular before its untimely death

There are some days where I struggle for content, today, I’m struggling to decide what to leave out. I think I’m just going to give you the headlines and you can make up your own minds about the rest of the story:

Grown Man Savagely Attacks Two Pieces of Sweetcorn
A local man has been found guilty of brutally attacking two small pieces of sweetcorn, smashing and stomping them to death. In the rare act of what can only be described as ‘sweetcornism’, onlookers branded the act as ‘sickening’.

One Chicken Nugget Survives ‘Blue Monday’
Two outlandish bloggers have overcome the odds and surpassed expectations surviving ‘Blue Monday’. Today, the day when credit card bills arrive, the weather is terrible and most people have already failed their New Year’s Resolution, it is comforting to know that early signs show Lee and Tom will be here for the marathon.

The last one is my favourite:

• Masses Gather To Sing To A Building
Over 50 people came together in Plymouth today to celebrate the one year anniversary of ‘The Gateway’ launch. The celebrations proceeded with cake and cava, but soon turned bizarre when the majority of people started singing happy birthday to the building. One member of the congregation expressed genuine confusion – ‘It was a moment of madness. I was singing to a building. I thought it was normal until I realised what I was doing. Then I was sick.’

On that note, here’s the food:

07.45 Weetabix x 3
11.00 Toblerone x2 bits
13.30 Gateway cake slice
14.00 Chicken and bacon brown bread baguette minus 2 bits of sweetcorn
15.45 Toblerone x2 bits
20.00 Carbanara penne pasta
20.15 Clementine x2 & Kiwi

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