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Does Cheese Give You Nightmares?

February 19, 2011

A study of 200 people by the British Cheese Board found no connection between cheese and nightmares.

The study explored how cheese influences sleep and dreaming, and found that the impact of cheese on sleep was positive with regard to dreaming, rather than negative, contrary to popular belief.

BUT really? The study by the British Cheese Board found cheese was a positive thing to eat before you sleep. Was it ever going to find anything else? I’m not sure, but I would say the majority of cheese boards are served just after dessert and just before you go to bed. ‘The Cheese Board’ publishing a piece of research that suggested anything like eating cheese before sleep had negative effects would be like Coca Cola publishing a piece of research evidencing just how bad it is for your teeth; or McDonald’s publishing ground breaking research proving how unhealthy and unethical the content of their burgers are; OR Nestle commissioning a report to accurately assess the number of babies they may have killed.*

(*None of these pieces of research have been commissioned and therefore the outcomes are simply hypotheses).

Here is my research:

I ate a cheese string before bed last week and I had a nightmare. The nightmare was so gruesome that it would be illegal to publish the graphic details in Europe or the US. Thus cheese caused the nightmare. Maybe.

09.10 Poached Egg on Toast
13.30 Croissants x2
15.45 Chips from the Barbican by the water
16.10 Dark Chocolate from Hotel Chocolat
20.15 Enchilados x2 with salad
21.00 Clementine

And Finally…

Here’s a picture of today’s lunch:

4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 19, 2011 11:08 pm

    Your photo is tagged as Fish and Chips Plymouth – where is the fish?? Is it underneath the chips?

  2. I_Could_Be_Anyone permalink
    February 20, 2011 5:16 pm

    Shut up Steve

    • February 20, 2011 11:18 pm

      How rude! It was a perfectly valid question.

  3. leef352 permalink*
    February 21, 2011 11:21 am

    The fish was in the shop when they were cooking the chips – I don’t actually know why I tittled it that – just sounded right at the time…
    I_Could_Be_Anyone who are you?

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