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Sight of the day

September 15, 2011
by

Sight of the Day

I was on the train today. That’s right, a train, for nearly four hours. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a Paddington to Plymouth train without witnessing something extraordinarily ridiculous and today was no different. I thought at one point it might just be the old man explaining to his wife that she needed a kindle not a laptop because a kindle has buttons too. If I’d not seen what I’d seen it might have been the hippie in purple literally raving in her seat, drunk on BOSE beats. But it wasn’t to be either those. That’s because what I saw even surpassed my expectations and trapped me in one of those ‘I really shouldn’t be laughing, but this is too funny’ moments. 

So put yourself in my seat. Three hours into the journey, struggling to stay awake and about as uncomfortable as I can only imagine a sardine must be upon arriving in their new tin. The grey plastic seat crushes your knees; the smell is a mix of lingering food, stale coffee, old man and newspaper; and your temples and stomach both grumble in discontent of their current state. Then, out of nowhere, the raving hippie decides to lob a brazil nut across the isle to her friend at full pelt. Not the most accurate of pitchers, the nut flies past her friend and crash lands straight into the face of what can only be described as a pale, male and stale business executive, who was already frustrated that his laptop was out of charge. 

As the bullet hits his head he jumps, realises it was just a nut, scorns, and the whole situation is made horrifically worse by the women breaking into tears of laughter before eventually apologising. 

Thank you raving hippie purple lady. 

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